On Aerilyn's birthday this year we threw a party with my family. We did everything you'd normally do at a party, except have extra kids and the actual birthday girl. Planning a party for a little girl who wasn't there was extremely painful and just downright cruel. But it happened and I'm glad it did. … Continue reading The Second Celebration
I'm not sure if I've addressed how I felt during the first days after relinquishing Aerilyn to the funeral home, but I'm about to change that. I need to change it because I am currently feeling the same way I did two years ago. Whether someone can relate or not, voicing my turmoil might help me … Continue reading The Following Days
Wow, Kanin is FIVE today! Say what? Where on Earth did five years go? I remember sitting on a labor ball, thinking "I can do this. The pain is temporary. Pretend you're at the beach" over and over again. Quickly asking to be checked by my nurse who thought I was insane and couldn't possibly be almost … Continue reading The Big 5!
Your mind is your prison when you focus on your fear. - Tim Fargo For as long as I can recall, I've had anxiety. It's never been outlandish, just the simple social awkwardness and feeling of being overwhelmed in large crowds. After Kanin it became extreme, but I managed. After Aerilyn it skyrocketed to astronomical … Continue reading Centered