Happy Birthday To Our Big Girl

**I wrote this days ago, intending to publish it on her birthday and it never happened. Life took over, meltdowns happened and a party ensued. Even though it’s late, it’s still applicable. Once I’m feeling emotionally ready, I’m going to post more about her birthday. Thank you to everyone who came to her party, who wished her a happy birthday and who were thinking of us on Friday, the 15th.**

Happy birthday to the most missed little girl in my whole world. Two doesn’t seem possible, yet here it is. 730 days have passed since she came barreling into the world that wanted to keep her so much. Two years of living without her; struggling to learn my new normal. Two years of bone-aching grief that never seems to relent. Two of the longest years of my life.

I haven’t been handling her impending birthday very well; snippy, snappy, angry, moody and plain sad are to name a few of my moods these days. The closer the holidays have gotten and her birthday, the worse it’s gotten. I’m the Grinch to everyone’s Cindy Lou. The Mr. Scrooge to Tiny Tim. Even though I try to enjoy it, I’m not in the spirit. I want to be curled up with both my kids preparing for their sister. I’m hoping once the holidays pass as well as her birthday, I’ll start feeling better. Anyone have any tips for a struggling momma?

This year for Aerilyn’s birthday we fostered a two-year-old little girl who’s about to be adopted. Ironically enough, her 2nd birthday is on the16th, just one day after Aerilyn’s. We are also throwing a celebration for her. Balloons, cake, dinner, and family gathering are taking place tonight. This might possibly be the only birthday celebration we do with my family here in Washington since we’re due to PCS May/June time. So we went a little bigger with the celebration than last year.

Today Kanin also receives Student of the Month, so he’ll be opening a congratulatory present. He’s doing extremely well in school and even though it’s his sister’s birthday, we’re celebrating his accomplishment. It’s a surprise, I’m sure he’s going to be ecstatic.

I have so much more to say but do not want to take away from Aerilyn’s birthday. So because of that, I’ll leave this as is.

Happy birthday Aerilyn Grace. You are loved, missed and wanted more than you’ll ever know.

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