Today’s segment is about angelbaby Pearl and her mother, Mora. Instead of answering the questionnaire, Mora opted to tell us the story of her daughter in a more traditional way. I would like to note that there have been small changes and corrections made in order to make it more easily understood, as English is Mora’s second language. Despite these changes, all of the impressions and feelings you get from reading are hers.
The whole is her story and Pearl’s story, given to us across borders and language barriers. Thank you for reading, and thank you, Mora, for sharing.
My story of being mother to an angel began like this:
One day in the morning I felt like vomiting, fighting dizziness cravings etc. My first thought was that I was afraid to be pregnant since I already had an 8-year-old girl and a 4-month-old baby. Then the doctor gave us the news that we were having a baby and it made me nervous and concerned, but I remembered that children are a gift from the Lord, a reward from the mother’s womb —Psalms: 127:3.
In May, a ten-minute ultrasound changed my life, only being 16 weeks, the nurse said your baby has anencephaly and will die at birth. Never in my life had I heard that word “anencephaly”; a simple word that change my life, I remember that I told her to stop, I did not want to hear more to leave me alone. My baby of four months was the only one with me. In that moment, I started crying and he hugged me and we cried together. In the beginning I blamed myself. I said, “what did I did wrong? Was it something I ate?” My head was turning trying to figure out why? I said why? I don’t smoke, I do not drink and I don’t do drugs. The doctor said that I had not done anything wrong, that it happened at the beginning of the pregnancy, that there was no cure. She said her skull is not closed and part of the brain is missing, that’s why she is going to die at birth. Then she asked, “do you want to have an abortion?” You formed the way I think and feel, you put me together in my mother’s womb —Psalms: 139:13.
I told the doctor that I’m not the one to decide to kill her, that’s God’s decision. The Lord Jesus Christ makes everything perfect, so I believe my baby is perfect. You could see my body grow each passing day, you listed all my parts, and not one of them was missing —Psalms: 139:16
That day I decided to continue with my pregnancy as far as God allow me to. I got on my knees and I said, “LORD I ask you for a miracle, but do your will not mine.” What I remember the most about my pregnancy is that when I will start to worship the LORD, she would start to move in a different way. Judah, pray to me, and I will answer you. I will tell you important secrets. You have never heard these things before. —Jeremiah 33:3
I told my story at church and I was surprised to see how many people that I do not know we’re praying for my Pearl. I continued with my pregnancy, asking, praying for a miracle in spite of the negative comments from some people. Even the doctor said, “God is no magician and your daughter will die after birth. Are you sure that you do not want to have an abortion?” Continue to ask and God will give to you. Continue to search, and you will find. Continue to knock, and the door will open for you. —Matthew: 7:7.
The time was approaching for me to have my baby and we decided not to plan anything for the funeral until after she was born. On February 1st, 2016, three weeks before my due date, I started getting headaches and pain. I went to the hospital very early, and the doctor said it was time. At 3:00 pm she’d be doing the C-section, but she was a little concerned about the coughing I had. For the past eight months, I had thought of how that time would be and that time had finally arrived. My husband was there weeping, holding my hand.
Remember, I commanded you to be strong and brave. Do not be afraid, because the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. —Joshua 1:9
“Lord” I said, “I know you are here.” And when they put me under anesthesia I could hear many voices and I knew it was all the people who were praying for me. I couldn’t stop shaking. My husband was praying for me and I started to feel heat, I began to feel the peace of Christ. The doctor said the baby was out but not crying and her pulse was weak. I said, “God please let me see myself in her eyes and let her see herself in my eyes.” We felt her warmth for 5 minutes until I was told that she had already passed. The doctor said to me, “I told you this was going to happen.” Jesus said to the father “why did you say ‘if you can’? All things are possible for the one who believes. —Mark 9:23 In that moment, I learned that “possible” means a yes or no. So that was the will of God. My treasure was to see my husband, see him cuddle her and sing to her, despite the fact that she was no longer with us.
I wanted to donate her organs but she didn’t qualify because of the low birth weight. The pain was great, but then God sent us angels around us. Those who were with us since the beginning, giving us advice and support: Martha Martinez, Mervin and Yesenia Garcia, Jose and Yvonne Garcia, Jose and Fanny Martinez. Thanks to these people for their support and advice when we most needed it. The recovery was difficult since I ended up getting pneumonia and spent 6 days in the hospital. My wound was infected and there was a little separation, but my soul was healing. And He said: when I was born into this world, I was naked and had nothing when I die and leave this world I will be naked and have nothing, the LORD gives and the LORD takes away Praise the name if the LORD. —Job: 1:21 He was the one that gave me the baby so he was the one who took her. We decided to call her Pearl because in God’s kingdom, Luke is a merchant looking for fine Pearls. One day he found a very fine Pearl, which he went and sold everything to buy. —Matthew: 13:45-46
God gave us our own Pearl. For her funeral services, God helped us to the point that I had nothing to worry about. I got a vase of many roses to represent my loss because they defined her beautiful, soft, nice scent, but their thorns are representative of how His calling her home makes me cry.
My daughter, Destiny wrote this for her: She is as beautiful as a rose, she is my little angel, my floresita and much more, but more important is that she is my sole and major sister, even though she is gone. I will continue loving her and carrying her in my heart. One day, I will see my sister running to me and I will give her a big hug.
Today I say to all of the women who are going through something similar: do not give up. Be a strong, be a warrior. We cannot bring our babies back, but we can try to get where they are. My Lord Jesus Christ I give you all the honor and worship. Thank you for choosing me to be the MOM of an angel.
Like Mora, many of us don’t know why our babies were destined to be angel babies, but she sets a great example by saying the “why” doesn’t really matter. What matters is that we love, cherish, and honor them the way that we would were they still in our arms. Thank you again, Mora, for sharing your and Pearl’s story with me and my readers
Mora Caroline, a fellow mother who has experienced loss, has graciously agreed to translate all of the segments into Spanish. Our hope is to provide more resources for those who don’t read English well or at all. She and I agree that there are many families out there who are isolated due to a language barrier. By translating, we’re hoping to inspire others to go bilingual; to open their blogs, posts and general information on Anencephaly and Acrania to the Hispanic community. Thank you, Mora.
P.S. As of right now the graphics are only in English, sorry.
Mi historia de ser mama de un angel comenso asi. Un dia por la manana senti ganas de vomitar, luejo mareos antojos etc. Mi primer pensamiento, fue miedo a estar embarasada ya Que tenia una Nina de 8 anos y un nino de 4 meses. Entonces nos dieron LA noticia de Que estabamos Esperanto bebe. Me dio nervios y preocupacion Pero recorde He aquí, heredad de Jehová son los hijos: Cosa de estima el fruto del vientre.
Salmos:127:3 En mayo En un ultrasonido de 10 minutos mi Vida cambio,teniendo solo 16 cemanas me dijo la enfermera tu bebe tiene anencefalia y VA a morir al nacer. Nunca en mi Vida habia oido esa palabra
” anencefalia ” una simple palabra Que cambio mi vida, recuerdo Que le dije ala enfermera no quiero oir mas dejeme sola, y mi bebe de 4 meses era El unico conmigo En ese momento El Al verme llorar lloro conmigo. En El principio yo me culpe dije, Que hice mal algo comi, me golpie mi cabesa daba vueltas pensando por Que me habia pasado esto ami si no fumaba no tomaba y drogas menos. El Dr. Me Dijo Que yo no habia hecho nada Que era also Que pasaba Al principio de embaraso, su cabesita no se cerraba y no tendria parte de su cerebro Que por eso moriria alnacer. Despues me Dijo quieres abortar? Porque tú formastes mis entranas; tu me hiciste en el vientre de mi madre.
Salmos:139:13 Le dije yo no soy nadie para decidir quitarle la Vida. El Senor Jesucristo. Hace todo perfecto. Mi embrión vieron tus ojos, Y en tu libro estaban escritas todas aquellas cosas Que fueron luego formadas, Sin faltar una de ellas.
Salmos:139:16 Su palabra lo dice, no falta Nada Que El hiciera. Ese dia decidi llegar hasta donde Dios me lo permitiera, llegue ala iglesia y me puse alos pies de Cristo, y le dije Senor te pido un milagro, pero Que se haga tu voluntad no la mia. Lo Que mas extrano y recuerdo de mi embaraso fue, Que cada Que cantaba alabansas, Ella empesaba a moverse de una Manera diferente y se Que era por que le decia Al Senor, Clama á mí, y te responderé, y te enseñaré cosas grandes y dificultosas que tú no sabes.
Jeremías:33:3 Conte mi historia En LA iglesia y me sorprendi de ver cuanta gente Que yo ni conosia estaba orando por mi Perla. Asi seguiremos con mi embaraso ayunando orando por un milagro apesar de los malos comentarios de algunas personas incluso de Dr. Que me Dijo Dios no es mago y Que tu hija VA morir al nacer segura Que no quieres abortar? En ese momento llore y dije Pedid, y se os dará; buscad, y hallaréis; llamad, y se os abrirá.
Mateo:7:7 El tiempo se acercaba de tener ami bebe y decidimos no arreglar Nada del funeral hasta despues Que Ella naciera. El 1 de febrero 2016, tres cemanas antes de mi fecha empese con dolores y fuy Al hospital muy temprano, y El Dr. Me dijo ya es hora alas 3:00 pm te are la cesaria, pero estoy un poco
preocupado por LA toz Que tienes. Por los pasados 8 meses habia pensado Como hiba hacer ese momento y por fin habia llegado, y mi esposo llorando sosteniendo mi mano. Mira que te mando que te esfuerces y seas valiente: no temas ni desmayes, porque Jehová tu Dios será contigo en donde quiera que fueres.
Josué:1:9 Le dije Senor yo me Que Estas aqui, y cuando me pusieron LA anestesia pude our muchas voces y supe Que era toda LA gente Que estaba orando por mi, despues no paraba de temblar mi cuerpo mi esposo oro por mi, y senti un calor y empese a sentir LA Paz de Cristo, El Dr me Dijo ya salio pero no llora y su pulso Esta mal, ai le dije a Dios por favor permiteme verme En sus ojos y ella En los mios y asi paso, pudimos sentir su calor por 5 minutos hasta Que me dijieron ya murio, El Dr. Me Dijo to dije Que Esta hiba pasar. Y Jesús le dijo: Si puedes creer, al que cree todo es posible.
Marcos:9:23 Para El todo es posible pero posible no quiere decir si tambien puede ser un no. Asi Que esa habia sido LA voluntad de Dios. Mi tesoro fue ver ami esposo arrullandola y cantandole Dios Esta aqui tan sierto Como El aire Que respiro, apesar Que Ella ya no estaba con nosotros. Queria donar sus organos pero no califico por su peso. El dolor era grande pero En ese momento Dios mando asus angeles alrededor de nosotros. Los Que estubieron con nosotros desde El principio ( Martha Martinez, Mervin y Yesenia Garcia, Jose y Yvonne Garcia, Jose y Fanny Martinez ) Gracias a Estas personas por su apollo y consejos cuando mas lo necesitaba. Fue una recuperacion dificil ya Que me did pneumonia y estube 6 dias En El hospital, mi herida se infecto y separo pero mi Alma estaba sanando. Y dijo: Desnudo salí del vientre de mi madre, y desnudo tornaré allá. Jehová dió, y Jehová quitó: sea el nombre de Jehová bendito.
Job:1:21 El me habia dado a Perla El me LA podia quitar. Decidimos llamarla Perla por
También el reino de los cielos es semejante al hombre tratante, que busca buenas Perlas; Que hallando una preciosa Perla, fué y vendió todo lo que tenía, y la compró.
Mateo:13:45-46 Asi fue para nosotros esa hermosa Perla Que nos dio Dios a nosotros, para su servicio funerario Dios nos respaldo Que de eso no nos preocupamos, tubo muchas rosas por Que eso es lo Que LA difine a ella hermosa, suave, olor bonito pero con sus espinas de su partida. Siempre te recordaremos de Que Estas En buenas manos tus hermanos te extrallaran. Mi hija destiny le Dijo estas palabra; Ella es hermosa Como una rosa, es mi pequeno angel mi floresita y mucho mas, pero lo mas importante es Que es mi unica y major hermana aunque este muerta. Yo me seguiremos amando y llevando En mi corazon mi hermanita y un did me VA a ver y correra ami como si tubiera algo especial. Hoy te dijo ati mujer Que Estas pasando por algo similar, no te des por vencida se fuerte guerrera no podemos traer a nuestros bebes de regreso pero si podemos intentar nosotros llegar a donde estan ellos. A mi Senor Jesucristo le doy toda la honra y alabansa, gracias por averme escogido ami para ser LA mama de un angel.