Originally a CaringBridge post. Link to original post is the date.
I am officially 40 weeks!
I never dreamt I’d make it to my due date, December 3rd 2015. I feel as big as a house with my own zip code! I think a sloth moves quicker than me these days, not to mention my lack of seeing anything past my belly. Sleep is extremely hard to come by and I’m getting more grouchy by the day. Physically I am more than ready to be done being pregnant. Emotionally I could stay pregnant for much longer! Aerilyn is still going strong, currently laying transverse (sideways) and making my belly move widely. She is extremely comfy in there and I’m perfectly okay with that, to an extent. 🙂
My latest appointment showed she’s measuring around 37 weeks and like I said, comfy. There’s still no progression, which means just that, nothing has changed. LoL. Stubborn little girl just like her parents. At this point we’re allowed to go for as long as we want basically, but Josh and I put 42 weeks (Dec 17th) as our cut off. As much as we’d love for her to stick around, I can’t be pregnant forever. Barring she comes on her own, or some health risk, that’s our goal. Monday I will have a non-stress test and an OB appointment. The test will check for movement and her heart rate. This could show if there are any risks continuing with the pregnancy or if she’s perfectly fine. It’s a precaution we’ve decided to take. Depending on how that goes, I’ll either go back that Thursday for another one, or wait another week. We also might be scheduling my induction that day. So we have a lot of thinking and decisions to make here soon. This includes when to have my family fly up here, what day we want as her potential birthday and if that day works for our photographers and for the doctor we want. It’s going to be a taxing decision to say the least.
Today also marks the birthday of a very special little girl, Rachel Alice Aube. Today she would have been 5 years old had it not been for an anencephaly diagnosis. Her mom, Stacy has been amazing to and for me. Between random check-ins with me and putting together Aerilyn’s Celebration of Life, I couldn’t be more thankful for her. It breaks my heart to know today she is having to revisit probably one of these most painful things she’s ever been through. Although everyday is walking through the waters of grief, today being her birthday, another year gone that she should be there with her whole family… I can’t imagine it. I’m sure next year will be terrible for me once we hit Aerilyn’s birthday, but until then, I only hope I can be as strong and compassionate as Stacy has been to me. She is a few weeks behind me in a pregnancy that walks the lines of Rachel’s, seeing her struggle makes me wish I could help more since she’s been there for me. On this day, not only do we mark my 40 weeks, we mark the day of another beautiful little girl who was taken too soon. Please keep this family in your thoughts as they prepare for a new baby and walk through today celebrating their lovely little girl. ❤ http://thegiftofrachelslife.blogspot.com
I’d like to thank Kimberly for the gorgeous ornament. I know you’re dealing with your own grief, but again, you thinking of me and Aerilyn is truly touching. I’d also like to thank Tarianne, Jose, Harper and Piper for the “lil sis” outfit you passed down to us. It’s lovely and I hope Aerilyn is able to wear it. This brings me to a card. I got a card in the mail with an origami bird in it with no return address. Whoever sent it, thank you! I’d love for you to claim it if you’d like. 🙂
This week we added another family member to our home, Squeakers. Kanin chose her name, so don’t judge. LoL. She is a 4 month old shorthair kitten, that’s grey tiger striped. This kitten is special in a few different ways. She loves Aerilyn and Aerilyn loves her. When she sits on my belly, Aerilyn moves right under her and pushes out to “feel” her purr. Squeakers likes to bat at my belly when Aerilyn is moving and “get’ her. It’s adorable. Squeakers is obsessed with Josh. Josh, who was very adamant he hated cats, is like wise obsessed. He’s eating his words for the rest of time. Kanin and her get along well, but seeing as he’s three, he’s a bit rambunctious for her. Small doses and she does really well. Once Kanin gets over the newness of her, I 100% believe they’ll be best friends. The last way she’s so special is she’s “deformed”. Her front paws are turned inward and she walks on her wrists essentially. Her back feet are barely there. She didn’t form all of her legs properly. She has two claws on each foot and her back legs are shorter than her front. This makes her walking a bit strange, but believe me, it does no slow her down. She’s just as playful as a typical 4 month old kitten. Her favorite toy is definitely anything feather related and her lack of full feet and legs are hardly a hinderance for her. She’s quick and can get around pretty much everywhere. Hard surfaces are difficult for her to walk on, but she makes due if she must. Her ability to jump is pretty non existent, so if she wants on the couch or somewhere she can’t reach, she meows to let us know what she needs. When she plays she can pounce a bit, it’s more like a small leap than anything. It’s hilarious to see. Josh and I have dubbed her part Meerkat. She loves to stand up on her hind legs and looks around exactly like a meerkat does. If she were male, we agreed we would have named her Timon from The Lion King.
Getting a cat that has these “deformities” only seem fitting at this time. As much as everyone finds her adorable, no one would actually take home a cat that has special needs. They wouldn’t put in the work we will have too. Right now we’re working on fully litter training her (she’s perfectly able), she’s lazy though. Staying on something soft makes it easier for her to go, than walk a foot (haha pun) away to her litter box. It’s a behavioral issue contributed to her feet. When she’s older, she’s going to have hip and joint issues. We have to keep an eye on her pads to make sure she’s on having any problems with them since she only has a few per foot. Her back is shaped differently than a normal cat because her front and back legs are two different lengths. Those are things people don’t want to have to deal with. They don’t want to add to already time consuming pet aspect of it. I look at it like Aerilyn. No one would choose to have a child that had “deformities”. Be it Autism, Downs, Anecephaly or any other “thing” that would arise more complications than if you were to have a healthy child. There’s people out there who terminate or “induce early” for things like Anencephaly, even Downs because they
couldn’t WOULDN’T handle a child with these “issues”. I say wouldn’t vs couldn’t because it’s a choice. A choice of couldn’t and wouldn’t.
I’ll leave it at that for now. Bottom line, we chose a cat that has issues and she’s fully welcome in our home.
Happy 40 weeks, Aerilyn.
Happy birthday, Rachel.