Originally a CaringBridge post. Link to original post is the date.
Third trimester is definitely setting in already. Week 28 brings a massive amount of fatigue. I can’t seem to stay awake past 11pm at the latest. That’s strange for me because I’m such a night owl. Sleep, boy is it my friend right now. Aerilyn certainly doesn’t think her mommy needs sleep though. She loves to dance and wiggle around at night and keep me up as much as possible. Her brother has been getting up at ungodly times too. The other day it was 230am. What 3 year old needs to be awake at 230am? Apparently mine. SLEEP KIDS, SLEEP!
The other morning Aerilyn hadn’t moved in a few hours so I decided to find her on the doppler. She woke up as soon as I found her heartbeat and kept moving away from the machine. Kanin kept knocking on my belly to hear it echo through the doppler as well. Then he wanted to listen to his belly. He was very confused that there wasn’t any sound in his tummy, so we had to show him his heart. I have a picture, it’s adorable. Monday we went to a BBQ for Labor Day and besides melting from how hot it was, we had lots of fun. Kanin ran around as always, Josh and I talked with friends and food. Of course I ate food. I can’t seem to stop eating these days. Food and sleep, my two best friends.
She is getting BIG! The other day I felt her kick/punch(couldn’t determine what one) my lower abdomen, close to my hip. Then kick/punch at the top of my belly. It was in such quick succession that it had to be her sprawled out. Aerilyn is definitely one of those babies you see sticking a hand or foot out of mommy’s belly. We can watch my belly dance and wiggle all the time. She’s strong and likes to show it.
We’ve been readying our house for December and it’s coming along pretty quickly. Hopefully it’ll be done soon and we won’t have much to worry about while in Hawaii and after. Last weekend Kanin got sick too. Poor baby had a very high temperature for awhile and was miserable. Thankfully is was only a 24 hour thing and he was up and running the next morning. He’s still going to daycare and loving it. Most days he’s asking to go “bye bye” and becomes upset when we say there’s no where to go. He doesn’t even know where he wants to go, he just does. What a turd.
So this week I’ve posted to Facebook a few comments other people have made to other anencephaly mothers. There are a few people who seem to think it’s okay to speak their minds to anyone they please. This is just not the case. You don’t know what someone is going through or why they made the decisions they did. Whether it an anencephalic baby, a baby with Trisomy 21 (Down Syndrome) or a baby with a congenital heart defect… All these parents are doing the best they can with the information, support and heart they have. Some people abort these children and grieve, some carry to term. No one child is better than another. No one person is better than another. Comments about how a so and so wasn’t worthy of life or shouldn’t have been given a chance of life are so ignorant. Until you are put in this situation you don’t know how you’ll react, think, process or survive it. Even those who have gone through it don’t fully know what to say to others who are. Which means if you haven’t been through or are going through it, those thoughts and opinions (negative) should be kept to yourself. Everyone’s journey is different and no one has a right to judge any mom, dad or guardian on how they choose to handle it. I’m going through this and even I don’t have that right. Some people say it’d be reckless to go to Hawaii this late in my pregnancy or at all. Some people say this baby is an abomination. Those people have a right to their opinion but they don’t have the right to express it to those who’ve become bereaved. Think before you speak. Is what you’re going to say hurtful? Would you say it to someone who lost a “normal” child? How would you feel if someone had said it to you? Think.
Another bereaved mom posted this on Facebook today and although I am not yet bereaved, my time will come. I am positive all these things this article says, will come true for me. Maybe this can help some others get perspective on what our family is about to go through.
This was also posted on Facebook today. I thought it was extremely appropriate given what I’ve seen lately.
28 weeks down, and only 18 more days until Hawaii! =) Oh and Kanin decided to photobomb me. He really is a turd. Lol